Sunday, March 23, 2008
Easter Morn'
The Easter Bunny came to my house. Well, it may not have been Peter Cottontail exactly; I suspect it was his cousin Penelope. Peter has had to expand the organization these past few years. In the twenty-first century this gentle enterprise has become far more than one bunny can handle. No longer a simple matter of hopping from house to house in the wee hours, no, now there’s a gauntlet to be run, and that eats up valuable time. What kind of gauntlet? Well, with the all those Right-wing Christians taking pot-shots at him with their unregistered rifles any time he tries to cross a meadow or field all the while crying for his hide as if he were the titular head of the vast pagan uprising, and the PETA folks lurking behind every bush along the Bunny Trail with their injunctions and subpoenas and buckets of red paint screaming bloody murder, calling for him to be dragged off to The Hague to face charges as the Uncle Tom and international kingpin of unfair animal labor practices. Not to mention all the spoiled rich kids hopped up on a week’s worth of one skipped dose a day of “normal-making” pills leaving him carrots they’ve cleverly hollowed out and filled with their parents’ favorite prescriptions hoping to stalk and capture the long-eared legend and display him proudly to their peers in some HGTV dream sweatshop their parents have commissioned just to shut them up since everybody has everything they have but NOBODY has the actual Easter Bunny. You see why poor Peter needs reinforcements. I’m just glad that one of his vast and loyal operation made it to my house this year, and that whichever one it was brought jelly beans.
