The Urban Elf

It is now illegal to be an allergy sufferer in Massachusetts.

I just came from my local pharmacy (CVS) where I was attempting to purchase my allergy medicine, the generic form of Claritin-D. To my happy surprise the 10 count box of 24-hour dosage was on sale at about 40% off. As this is a great price and of late I have been known to need as many as three of these a day, and I was in fact out sick from work today due to the one pill I had left being insufficient to beat back my flu-like symptoms, stocking up seemed a good idea. When I reached the register with my three boxes of medicine and a bottle of mouthwash I cheerfully handed my CVS card and my items and a CVS coupon for $4 off a purchase of $20.00 or more to the cashier. The young man scanned my card, the mouth wash, and then sheepishly informed me that he had to see my ID. ...? I assured him I knew that this was not his fault but that it was the most fucking ridiculous thing I had heard of. He heartily and apologetically agreed while he copied my name and address into the store's registry and asked for my signature. This was annoying and degrading (my housemate picked up my OxyContin prescription last year with far less trouble), but I was outwardly calm. The cashier rang up the first box. Then it took a bad turn; the register refused to scan the next box. The young man, after assuring me how glad he was to encounter someone besides himself who was frustrated and angered by this whole policy, turned to a supervisor and asked her if he could ring them in separately. I’d lose my extra $4 off from the coupon, but at this point I didn’t care. She insisted I could only buy the one. I angrily informed her that I needed this medication to function and had already missed a day of work for running out. The cashier took the initiative to call the manager. An assistant manager appears and after the situation is explained to her she sternly informs me that this is the law. I informed her that if it is a law with which CVS must comply and especially if they are going to put it on sale then there should be a sign clearly stating that there is a limit of one per customer in accordance with Massachusetts state law.
I bought my two allowable items. The young man handed me back my coupon and apologized. I Thanked him and bade him a good evening. I ignored the other two.

So, first I am treated like a sex offender who needs to be registered and tracked then I am denied legal medication that I need to maintain my day to day functionality, but am also accused by implication of lying about my medical condition (which is none of their damn business anyway) and of running a meth lab. So now not only can you not buy Pseudofed itself of the shelf you can only buy products containing Pseudofed in limited government tracked and regulated quantities. Meanwhile, fourteen year old children can walk in and buy as much alcohol based mouthwash or dextromethorphan containing cold medicine they want unimpeded. You see those children only want minty breath or to sooth a scratchy throat while I do not suffer from debilitating allergies oh no, no, no, I am the Crystal Meth King of Allston.