Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Oh foul frailty
Under the oppressive weight of the Arisia flu I last week took to my sickbed with a flourish and fervor fit to shame Camille and only just crawled forth to speak with you, my adoring audience, in a lewd yet homey rasp reminiscent of Harvey Fierstein.
I deplore illness. The way it addles the mind, weakens the body, distorts the taste of cigarettes and liquor…. and I suppose food. Really it is far too dreadful to be borne. Although the incidental weight loss can be an underrated perk. But seriously, it really is a trial. What good are days freed from the soul-wringing fist of necessary employment just to be spent lounging in bed alone, wheezing and coughing, sneezing and moaning, all the while spewing forth substances interesting only to ten year-olds and Nickelodeon producers? Then there is the fever, and the chills, and the aching so extensive that the fever actually starts to convince you are really are a freshly retired stunt double for Wiley Coyote. Ruinous. Ghastly, awful and ruinous.
Now, if you will excuse me I have some obscene phone calls to make.
I deplore illness. The way it addles the mind, weakens the body, distorts the taste of cigarettes and liquor…. and I suppose food. Really it is far too dreadful to be borne. Although the incidental weight loss can be an underrated perk. But seriously, it really is a trial. What good are days freed from the soul-wringing fist of necessary employment just to be spent lounging in bed alone, wheezing and coughing, sneezing and moaning, all the while spewing forth substances interesting only to ten year-olds and Nickelodeon producers? Then there is the fever, and the chills, and the aching so extensive that the fever actually starts to convince you are really are a freshly retired stunt double for Wiley Coyote. Ruinous. Ghastly, awful and ruinous.
Now, if you will excuse me I have some obscene phone calls to make.
