The Urban Elf

So here it is, Groundhog Day. Up and down the east cost of the United States sleepy marmots are being drummed from their burrows, dragged before cameras and dragooned into prognosticating for the dominant primates. In response to this the groundhogs, who have been rousted early from their hibernation without the benefit of so much as a cup of coffee, deliver their prophecy with the unanimity of a an adolescent focus group.

In related news, a squirrel scampered out onto the Washington Mall only to recoil in fear at the shadow of Dick Cheney. The squirrel was reported to have been seen in a local bar bobbing for olives in his third Grey Goose martini and predicting four more years of malevolent stupidity.